what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
