i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Randomize