i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
