if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
