Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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