My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
