Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
