how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Randomize
