I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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