Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
