I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
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