i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
There was a lot of him and a little penis
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
