My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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