So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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