onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
