She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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