Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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