We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Pooping to opera.
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