I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
