bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Randomize
