Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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