i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
