If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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