ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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