I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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