just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
