Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
