i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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