theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
