So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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