At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
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