We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
