census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Less talking, more tequila
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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