i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
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