My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
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I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
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When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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