ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
