I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
