3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
