Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
