puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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