I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
