I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
