I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Randomize
