alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
