You smell like a Billy Joel song
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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