even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
