It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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