But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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