all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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