He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
If I had your ass I would rule the world
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
