He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Randomize
