apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
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It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
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I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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