after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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