You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
