508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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