if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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