Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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