i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
He did a backflip because drugs
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
