I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
ugly people sure do ruin things
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
