I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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