apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize