Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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