I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
