My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
