Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
