i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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