You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Just cropdusted the office
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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