My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
