Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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