Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
