My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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