It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
