after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
