Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
