my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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