I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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